Ambassador, February 24th

(On Geary and Leavenworth)

"Dude your my best friend man," I told Nathan along the industrial road, with nothing but industry in sights end from left and right. Nathan's turned quiet from his drunken know everything and anything prose. He lifted up his arm like a wing and walked over to me. "You're my bestfriend too," he said in embrace, "you actually came to meet my family." There wasn't anything left to say after everything that had happened tonight.

It's February 24, 2010. We're at the Ambassador in San Francisco.

* * * * * * *

"Hey, okay here this is what were going to do," I grabbed the end of the lime, and pulled over any Corona at our table. It was probably Gio's, our friend who was coming late to meet us. "I'm going to bite this lime on one end, and your going to bite the other end." She nodded, "Okay," she replied. We bit, slightly brushed upon each others lips, dropped our bottles, and I came back for a full kiss. HB9. First set. Went amazing. Marissa.

Milan. The next girl was Milan. Korean, almost didn't speak a walk of English. The waitress placed 4 shots on our table. I pulled a lime out of a cup. "So this is what were going to do..." .... score.

"Dude we can't lose that booth," Nathan said. It was the only thing anchoring every set of girls we were talking to. "Did you kiss her," I asked. He replied by saying no. I was 2 for 2. He wasn't. Gio had left as soon as he came in. Nathan said he probably was intimidated. He was probably right.

"You have to close your mouth," I said after I kissed Charlotte, a different girl. She was french. Kinda fat. Well her body resembled an egg. Nathan and I were already pulling every set left and right. She was French. "We don't kiss like that in France," she replied. "So do you want to give me a french kiss" I asked. She nodded. 3 for 3. But who's counting anyways.

We were unstoppable, destroying everything left and right. "I'm adopted!" she said. I have no idea what her name was; she wasn't black black, she was sort of international black, the pure pigment separating black and African American. I saw the connection we had. But, still. I wanted her for Nathan, to smooth out the levels between us. I didn't want to kiss her. I didn't want to really touch her. But as she twirled, she was happy. And as I grabbed her back and legs, lifting her around in some safety crusader type of way. I still left her for Nate. They both went in and sat in the booth. I, on the other hand went into the first set of Latina high class women, with my gray graphic aeropostale t shirt.

"You guys are the sexiest couple here," I asked. I moved in back and forth, realizing I didn't exactly staple myself to one girl and continued to game both. I was doing great none the less. I blasted and turned and teased. But I asked them to sit in our booth, and they replied with, "we'll meet you there," which read into me as, 'most likely not.' I wanted to pull an eskimo kiss, where both our noses touch, so I can anchor myself, do something extraordinary, make that one push for social difference. But I didn't ask and it just looked like I was forcing myself to kiss her. "Your so rude," the other girl said. I left, smiled, and just left.

We talked to the Swiss adopted African American girl a little more, until she left. Nathan said she got all protective without me around.

"Hey could I pet your coat," I said as Nathan and I immediately left the booth and a 2 set had just walked in. I forgot what happened there, but I guessed that her friend was a Capricorn, and I was right, and then I was kissing her. 4th kiss. 4th kiss was an HB8.5, brunnette, with amazing tits that I didn't touch, but she was beautiful, sexy, and I kissed her with maybe 4 words, and the major surprise was that they had both JUST walked into the bar.

We walked through the club. I scanned until I found a blonde black girl, black as in black. I couldn't tell until later that her hair was designed in dreadlocks. "I'm going to introduce you to her," I said to Nathan as soon as a bigger whiter guy came in for the swoop on her. "Hold on, damn!" I said to Nathan. "Don't worry about it," Nathan replied, "I'll just Amog him!" "No," I replied, "I don't want to do any AMOGing tonight, were better than that, just let me think." I looked in front of me to find a healthy pale looking brunnette with stars covering the front top of her blouse. I grabbed her shoulder, pivoted her away from her conversation towards me,"Can I ask you for a favor," I said impaling the most confidently blaring idea. "Yeah, what do you need!" she asked happily. "See that girl over there, my friend wants to meet her!" I replied yelling in her ear, "Could you introduce my friend to her." Yeah totally, she replied with an endless smile beyond cheek to cheek, happy to work for me. And I was happy to be the boss of tonight. I pulled Nathan through, and he pulled on back, not wanting to leave his nesting. I watched happily as the healthy pale brunette pulled on Nathan's hand and tapped onto the black blonde girl's shoulder. I looked at the guy who I just took her away from, he smiled in an unbelieved confidence. Then random-brunette-HB8.5 walked by again, I grabbed her by her face and slipped into her lips in excitement. She continued walking and I danced for a few unbelievably amazed seconds. I just realized how many hearts I must've been breaking.

I went to wing Nathan, the big white white dude was a surfer from San Diego, who obviously didn't know how to talk without spraying spit all over my face. Nathan left empty handed, and I left the garden sprinkler. "What happened," I asked Nathan. "She said she was going to get a drink," he replied. In failure was opportunity. I walked right up to the bar, said something about her hair, she explained herself, I must've got bored, or I think I was looking both at her and someone else, so I left. But I made the most of it. And I was pushing everything in every other way.

I looked behind me and there was the sexiest blonish brunette there wearing a black halter top, her elbows pressed onto the bar. I walked, pushed my way through, and got completely behind her, "There is no doubt that you have the sexiest shoulders in this whole place," I said. "We just met outside," she replied. We did. At some point during the night, Nathan and I were outside and I met this guy through Nathan, who introduced me to her friend, and I pushed to meet her and her name was Molly. She wasn't kidding. "Wow, it's awkward now, because we already met and now I'm hitting on you, that's like hitting on my sister." She laughed, I posed one of the bigger complements that I've probably ever said and asked her if she was a model. She replied that she does some type of marketing then, "I'm not saying you should be a model because you can, I'm saying it.... because.. I mean you freak'n are a model! She laughed. Nathan tapped me, then he pulled my arm. I didn't know what for, but I had to get out of set, which really didn't matter because her complete hotness was blowing out my confidence, and even though I was influencing the same greatness, in my mind, I knew, it wasn't going to hold. "Hey," I said knowing I was going to have to ask permission, "I'm going to kiss you on the cheek!" I said. She pulled her face to the side acknowledging her cheek, in a way in which I knew it was too early for a speedy make out kiss. I placed my lips on her cheek, then pointed to my cheek. I felt her lips brush up against my skin, and I would've probably curled to death.....purring.



Then as much as I don't want to give in to it. The night turned out to be the BEST THEN WORST night that I've had to ever deal with. Nathan got drunk. And then Nathan got violent.

I saw someone kissing the egg shaped french girl, and brushed it off, saying to myself that that was the last time I make out with a girl lesser than HB7. That girl also had a friend, and she was also making out with some really REALLY tall lanky guy. They both stumbled somehow and fell on the floor. I helped the tall guy up first, then the Korean friend. I grabbed her face and brushed my fingers across her hair cleaning her up. "Are you okay," I said repeatively hearing my mommy factor place in. Nathan pulled her away from me. She said something to Nathan, then the tall guy pulled her away from Nathan. Nathan looked at me furiously. I knew it was coming, the talk about AMOGing, hearing him talk about cockblocking, it was all going to blow up in my face. Nathan went to talk to me, "she said she needs to find her friend," the egg. I came up to her as she fell drunkenly further into the tall white guy's stomach. "What do you need?" I asked her. Then he pushed my shoulder opening me up. "She doesn't want you." he said, in some super low faggot tone. Ummm okay....

But then Nathan came up. And guess who said the same exact thing. Nathan turned up to him in his fight all to kill all mode, pressing his chest up against the tall white dude. I reacted. I quickly slipped my arm into his arm, hooking him with one, then with the other. I grabbed a double under hook and pulled him out. I could see a quick glimpse of everyone turning startled. Nathan pushed and yelled at me for doing it, but I knew it was a have to.

We walked outside, and before we could walk all the way outside in the comfort of one of Nathan's cigarettes, he had to turn back, turning to two innocent cordial white boys. Yelling in frustration. "Look man, I just wanted a cigarettes, and you and your friend has to come up to me and talk shit!" Volatility ran rampant, as Nathan yelled endlessly to the guys who just needed to get two inches pass the main entrance but couldn't. Security came in and kicked the other guys out. I felt bad, but I was already feeling bad. I already felt the main constant downhill driving us down.

Nathan told me it would be okay, and that I should just cool it with being disappointed with him. So I tried. I opened a set, which didn't end well, so I won't talk about it. Then I opened another set, as I saw a sorta Africanny hot girl, I opened her telling her that my friend wanted me to introduce her to him. I did, talked to the friend. But when the guy friend came trying to cut off Nathan, it was the same God damn story. I watched the eyes of the Africanny hot girl start losing focus, then burning in frustration, then leaving. Nathan still yelled at him, "You don't just cut in front of people like that, you know that shit gets people hurt, you know that right!" The lights finally lit the room. It was probably almost 2. There were no sets to open. There was nothing much to go about and care for. It was over, and now it was disappointing.

Before I left, I told a girl she was incredibly sexy, and left as fast as I could. We talked a bit outside, saw that Korean girl again, Nathan tried to talk to her, and she left. I saw the two guys Nathan got kicked out of that place. I talked to them for a little bit, wished the other guy happy birthday, yeah it was his birthday. They replied telling me that I was the nicest guy they ever met. And once Nathan came in, he just had to say, you know you don't bring that shit here. They couldn't leave fast enough. Before we even got off the block, Nathan tried to pull a cigarette out of the mouth of a homeless guy who furiously threw his elbow up before Nathan can get close enough.

Then as quick as quick can be, Nathan went into the neighboring bar. Harassed the bartender, "I GOT FUCKING ID! YOU DON"T THINK I GOT FUCKING ID!" Then he complacently placed himself on a stool, and asked for water. The Asian bartender was furious, telling him to get the fuck out and leave. Nathan started speaking Spanish. Some amigo in a cowboy hat and a suit tried to sooth him. Everyone watched. We were a spectacle. Nathan threw his ID at the girl, and she threw it back, threatening to call 911. I locked eyes with the old asian female bartender, and drew a spledid 'everything's going to be okay' smile. Her heart lightened up to talk to me. I explained to her that he's drunk and someone else took the girl he was talking to. She told me girls are bad for us. Nathan still said delirious bullshit. I went to grab his ID off the floor, and even though the many times the cowboy amigo tried to get us a cervessa, we were still being kicked out. Not before Nathan yelled out BITCH! After, I smiled, and said love.

Then as soon as we got out, we saw a girl with a bandana who I pretty much saw all night at the bar we were at. She was wrapped into the arms of the guy she spent the past 3 or 4 hours with, without leaving, without anything. I told them they were the most extremely beautiful couple I saw in there, and I had no idea how they spent hours straight just in each other arms at a bar without talking to anyone else. I told them I couldn't do that. The truth was I wanted to do that. So badly. Nathan came up to them, still yelling that an Asian bitch pushed out a white spanish speaking person, and that he never felt more black. He came up to the couple, and it wasn't as bad. Before we left, I asked them if they could kiss before I left. I don't know if I was playing hamburger helper, or if I was just trying to hurt myself with jealousy. I think both worked. And yeah, the grief of jealousy did envelope my insides.

Nathan ran up to random cars, kicking the wind shields, and wacking side view mirrors. We got to the car, but we still weren't sober enough. We both took a shot before we left with an Asian couple who were pretty cool. I did want to leave SF with that thought, but I couldn't. Nathan continued to hit shit. He wanted to take a piss in the street facing the entrance of an hookah bar, but he didn't. We went into the hookah bar anyways, of course with Nathan running into there. Some bubble was in the sky and he acted amazed. We walked for a bit, then walked back. He kicked a chair down, then I pulled it up. Then the bar owner of the hookah place came up to us. "Hey are you okay," his tone sounded more empathetic than it did anything else, "Why you kick my chair down," then it sounded threatening, "How bout I call the cops on you, would you like that," definitely threatening. We ran, then ran back realizing the car was in front of the hookah bar. Nathan handed me the keys and before we could drive off, I could see hookah man with his rainbow tight shirt calling the cops. We drove as I fought some simple flakes of intoxication. I wasn't buzzed or drunk, just a little aftermath intoxicatedness.

But I still drove. We planned on hitting the donut shop but being "sketchy" as Nathan said, I felt that if rainbow hookah shirt got our license plate and we were just chillen at a donut shop, which happens to be the everyday staple of every cops meal, then we were fucked. So I drove to the freeway on the way to the nearest next town.

We got onto the freeway and onto the bridge, I wasn't serving, it was raining, but the equation seemed bad either way. I drove off to the next city, believing in the golden truth of safety first. Nathan yelled bullshit about game, about men, about who we are, and as we parked in a place with nothing but industrial bullshit from here to there, we got out took pisses on the street and yelled at each other.

"You're my best friend dude," I said. And that's when Nathan put me under his wing. It was what he probably wanted to hear, and it was what I wanted to say. I told him how I hate being around him when he's drunk. Then it was more bullshit and squabbling. I drove, getting us lost, and on different freeways. Then we were on the freeway.

I thought about that couple. Enjoyed the beginning of the night, and dreaded having to live through the end, but I thought about the couple, hours in each others arms. I wanted that. I wanted that peace. Why am I doing this? Because I wanted that peace. For a split second I thought about Pais, then moved on. Right now I thought about Erika, but I'm moving on. There's Emali and Brianna. Brianna's black, I don't know why that's mentionable, but I've never really gamed a black chick other than one other time, and I kiss closed her the day we met. Emali's 18 and in highschool. There's also Kate Black Glasses, who has the boyfriend but consistently makes moves that mention that I should make the moves. There's Kate Red, who is probably not making much of a comeback, but it's something to look for. And there's Whitney, a great, awesome, super cool, and lesbian. I should be thinking more about Pais, I mean to say I shouldn't be thinking about her, but for the sake of "the need to want peace" most recently Pais seemed like the most likely candidate. But she's gone, along with Erika. A lot of everyone is just gone. Anyways, I want that peace. I just want to be peaceful, have friends with girlfriends, take our girlfriends out, go skiing together, and wake up in the morning next to her. That's all I want. And for the past 2 years I've been fucking it up.

Tonight began with a bang, and everything else is just like those other girls that you never forget but do everything else to push their idea away.


Most importantly, I understand. I understand that I am very very capable. Very capable.